Wednesday, March 7, 2012
I'm a Lucky Girl!
The past week of my life has been a roller coaster ( I don't like roller coasters by the way). One minute I'm scared, the next I'm brave. One day I'm hopeful, the next I'm angry. I can't seem to contain my emotions and they can swing in any direction at any given moment without notice. People say its normal to go through a range of emotions when you are diagnosed with a horrible disease, but that doesn't make it better when you're in the middle of the storm.
Lately, the fear that I may miss out on some of the life I've planned has been constantly on my mind. It makes me bitter to think that I may not be able to live to see all the good things I had planned or I thought may happen in my future.
Today I have decided to temporarily let that fear go. Instead of worrying about the things I may not enjoy in the future, I'm going to list some of the great things and experiences I have already been blessed with in my life. I have been sad when thinking about what cancer may take from me and its easy to forget all of the wonderful things I've already experienced when my heart is full of fear.
But in my 40+ years, I have had lots of great experiences and I know if for some reason I don't pull through I have had a blessed life. I'm a lucky girl!
Things that have made my life full of happiness, fun and adventure.
I am a mom! - I have the most wonderful daughter any mom could as for. We have such a special bond because its been just the two of us for her whole life. This is absolutely the best experience of my life!
Pilot Lessons - I took flying lessons and learned to fly a plane. I never got my license but if we were in a plane and there was an emergency I could probably remember how to get us back to the ground, hopefully alive with only some minor injuries. :)
Lived in Atlanta Georgia - After high school graduation I moved to Atlanta Georgia for awhile. This was such a wonderful experience for someone who had never been more than 100 miles from home. I learned so much about being independent.
Washed Elton John's dishes - He used to fly into Pinehurst when I worked at the airport. I washed his dishes from his private jet when he stayed overnight. I only broke 1 plate! (which I'm sure cost more than my entire dinnerware set).
I was a parrothead - In my 20's I loved going to Jimmy Buffett concerts and became a parrotthead. I listened to Buffett the whole time I was pregnant and Abbi now loves his music and knows all the songs. She can't wait until I take her to see him in concert. That will be fun!!
Bermuda - One of the most beautiful places I've ever visited is Bermuda. I've been 4 times and would go back in a minute if I had the chance!
I still attend the same church I grew up in. The comfort I feel when I walk through those doors is a great feeling.
My best friend form childhood is still in my life. We have many different friends and interests now that we are adults but I know she is always there and when we see each other after any amount of time it seems just like yesterday we were chasing frogs and swimming in the pond on a Sunday afternoon.
Travel and Culture - I had the opportunity to travel to many places in my 20's. It was such a great experience and taught me not only about geography but also culture. Every place I visited I made sure to meet someone who lived there. Talking to local residents made my travel experiences so memorable.
Barbados and Maxi Priest - I visited Barbados and ended up in a tiny local bar as one of only 3 tourists. Maxi Priest was visiting friends and just happened to be hanging out there. He ended up singing. It was right before his songs started being played on mainstream radio. I've loved Maxi Priest since then.
Cruise Refugees - On a cruise to Mexico/Key West during the early 90's our ship picked up several cuban refugees on makeshift rafts trying to get to the US coast. While the ship saved many, there were more rafts, tubes and other floating devices left empty from people who didn't make it. That was an experience I'll never forget.
I met George Bush (the first one) at the White House - I was chaperoning a school group and we were outside the fence at the White House lawn. Suddenly, the President, Mrs. Bush and another couple just walked down to the fence and talked with us. The kids were so excited and surprised. It was great!
New Year's Eve in Cancun - I literally flew to Cancun on New Year's Eve for a party at a hotel and flew back the next day!
Spring Break with the girls - Last year, I, Abbi's friends and a couple of the moms had a girls getaway to the beach during spring break!! We had a blast and laughed until our belly's ached. I will never forget that special experience and I hope we get another chance to do it again!
Disney World - Our whole family went to Disney over Thanksgiving. Many of the ones who went are no longer with us. It was 17 years ago and my dad still won't let us forget he didn't get to see the polar bears at Sea World because he had to hold Abbi who was only 6 months old.
Experienced a Broken Heart - This may seem like a strange thing to have on a great experiences list. My heart has been broken more than once, and I wouldn't wish multiple borken heart on anyone. However, I think that when your heart is broken once, it prepares you to never take love for granted. You appreciate love more the next time because it helps your heart heal. So for this, a broken heart was a good experience because when I fall in love next time, I will value it more.
I learned to take up for me and be strong when I wanted to give up. (That skill should come in handy now).
Stood up for Abbi when she needed me to.
I still have both my parents with me.
I met Bob Ritchie (Kid Rock) - twice!
I met John Daly - Not sure if he was drunk or sober but he was so funny. I have a soft spot in my heart for him and I'm still pulling for his next comeback!
Visited New York - Everyone should see NYC at least once in their life.
Saving Sam - Our dog Sam taught me so many lessons. He showed up wounded and almost dead. I never cared much for pets, but couldn't stand to see this sweet puppy suffering. We saved his life and he became a member of our family. Sam taught me to love animals more than I ever imagined. He also gave me the gift of having compassion. I miss him dearly, especially now when I wish he was snuggled up with me comforting me like he used to do.
Senior Computers - I was given the opportunity to teach a computer class for senior citizens recently. I wasn't sure how it would go, but it turned out to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life!
Getting healthier - In the past 2 years, I have lived a healthier lifestyle than ever before in my adult life. I've lost weight, worked out and gotten stronger. I know now it was God preparing me for the battle I am now facing!
I will be adding to this list in the future, but I realize now that no matter what the next weeks bring....I have lived a full and wonderful life with so many unique experiences and I am lucky!